Bonnie the cat was always the black sheep of the family. "Curiosity killed the cat" - but nothing fazed her. More adventurous than Christopher Columbus in a quad-dimensional spaceship; nimbler than a greased diabetic Irishman in Candy Land - and somehow, she never got hurt leaping tall logscrapers in single bounds.
One day, she decided to embark on her most dangerous journey yet - venturing into THE CITY. "But no!" cried her father. "Have you ever heard the legend of the blue Viking? He roams the city at night, baiting stray cats with his winning, irresistible smile... but then he drugs them! With mushrooms! And hits them! He killed your mother! I simply CA(n')T allow it!"
But Bonnie retorted, "KEEP YOUR STUPID COMMENTS IN YOUR (hypothetical, as cats, not being marsupials, do not have pouches, nor do they generally wear clothes) POCKET!!" She was determined. She snuck out on a moonless night, running as fast as she could. When she got there, she was stunned. Everything was so big "IN NEW YOOOOOOOOOOORRKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE CATS ARE MADE OF" - she sang, until she ran headfirst into a not-quite concrete fourth wall, shattering it and her illusions that cats could sing.
A dark silhouette towered over her. It was the blue Viking! She looked around, but she was trapped! All she could do was make a total non sequitur movie reference.
"YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!!" she yelled.
The blue Viking replied "Bonnie, I am- uh, wait, I mean I DID NAAAHHT HIT HERRR. IT'S NOT TRUE IT'S BULLSHIT I DID NAAAHHHHHT HIT HERRR!
I did naaaahhhhht."
Bonnie wiped a tear from her eye, apparently convinced. The Viking offered a smile. "Eat this mushroom, and it will give you an extra life. And take you home via the London underground. Even though this story is clearly set in New York."
AND THEN SHE WENT HOME. THE END...
There is no story. I told you that to make it interesting.
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