Five Card Story: bricked-up

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a Five Card Flickr story by daisy created Feb 10 2021, 04:57:35 pm. Create a new one!


flickr photo credits: (1) bionicteaching (2) bionicteaching (3) bionicteaching (4) bionicteaching (5) Serenae


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bricked-up windows closing off her apartment from the rest of the world. like she didn't already do that herself. she had been having trouble with that lately - she had had no interaction with anyone for the past few weeks. and it wasn't just because of quarantine (sure, that was part of it, but not all). she felt drained. exhausted. unable to function properly. who was she to waste this life she was given? who was she to sit in bed all day, not eating, not doing any work, not even watching tv or listening to music? she wasn't existing, she was just...alive. breathing in air she felt she didn't deserve. the bricked-up windows were just a reminder of that. she felt like there was only so much air in her apartment, only so much life left. who was she to do something with it? how did she deserve to do something - but how did she deserve to waste was little, precious time she had? who was she to do anything? she wasn't chosen to be on this planet. it wasn't her fault that she came to be. it wasn't her fault that she hadn't eaten in days. it wasn't her fault that her meds were all the way across the room. it wasn't her fault -
but she felt like it was. and it sort of was - was it? she was conflicted. to say the least. she tried to look out the window. she really did. she really did try. but there was nothing there. nothing at all. just red and brown and black and grey - do you spell grey with an a or an e? she heard that it was with an a in america but e in england. easy to remember. but half the time she didn't know where she was anyways.
she was bricked-up. she liked that phrase but hated that it was accurate. she wasn't made of bricks per se, but she felt like it sometimes. she was a wall. no one got in or out. she didn't interact with anyone. she was quiet. she felt red and brown and black and gray sometimes. mostly gray. or maybe grey. she didn't even know. how could she? she had no windows.

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flickr photo credits: (1) bionicteaching (2) bionicteaching (3) bionicteaching (4) bionicteaching (5) Serenae

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